As a recent newlywed, the first question lots of people have asked when seeing me (after the obligatory, ‘how was the honeymoon?’ question has been; “how does it feel to be married, have things changed?” Now, at first, i started saying it feels exactly the same, but i was met with the reply of “ooh give it time, you’ll see.” So i decided to change tact and give a simple reply of “yeah, its good.” Problem with that is then people expect you to divulge into specifics about what is good and what exactly has changed, and thats when it becomes more difficult to answer.
So, over these recent weeks i decided that i was going to prepare an answer for the next time i am asked. This got me thinking. How does it actually feel to be married, and has anything actually changed?
What surprised me the most, was that when i actually started thinking about this properly, i realised that things did feel slightly different, and some things, had in fact, changed.
For a start, the husband was actually being a lot nicer to me than he used to be – for those of you who know me, you will understand what i mean, but for those of you who don’t – let me explain: I am not saying he was a horrible person and now he is not – its kinda just those little (almost romantic) things that i have noticed he has started doing – like saying ‘goodnight wife, love you’ – whereas before i used to get ‘night Maudo’ which was affectionate, but hardly romantic.
The other thing i have noticed is that people do treat you differently once they realise you are married. it’s hard to explain but i see them looking at my ring, back at me and i can almost hear them saying in their head ‘gosh she doesnt look old enough to be married’ or ‘hmmmm interesting’. If im being honest, i never know how to react to the either reaction so i have taken to smiling and going a funny shade of pink!
The most common question ive been asked so far though (and of course, the most controversial) is ‘are you changing your name?’ At the moment i explain that i havent as i am flying to Africa in 10 days and need my passport to match my name, but once that is over and done with then i probably will. This has been met with mixed reactions. Some people ask ‘ooh are you delaying it because you dont want to change it’ or ‘oooh how does steve feel about that.’ Others tell me i dont have to change my name at all. All these views i can appreciate, but I will be changing my name on my documents once i get back…
I mean, it’s not like it isn’t official now already – It’s changed on Facebook, how much more official can you get?!